Samwise rides again

From the Daily Express and the Telegraph …

Oakwood School in Rotherham, South Yorkshire, decided in the interest of multiculturalism to replace the turkey in the school’s Christmas Dinner with halal chicken, in order that the Muslim children in the school, which could be anything up to 20% of pupils there, could also eat.

Obviously good news for the local halal butcher, however Mrs. Rachel Johnson of Kimberworth, who has two children attending the school expressed outrage, claiming that it undermined Christian values.

`It has really rocked my boat because I feel my culture is being stolen away from me. I have no objection to halal meat being on the menu so long as there is a choice of traditional Christmas fare. Our culture and religion are being trampled on and it is not right. This is not a racial issue. Why can’t the non-Muslim kids enjoy traditional Christmas fare? Why can’t we have a choice of chicken which suits everyone, Muslims and non-Muslims. We bend over backwards at Eid to eat traditional Muslim food so why should we have to change our Christmas tradition? I feel my culture is being stolen away from me. I have no objections to halal meat being on the menu so long as there is a choice of traditional Christian Christmas fare. A lot of parents have been in touch to support my views. Our culture and religion are being trampled on and it is not right. It is almost as stupid as serving up pork on Eid. This is a multi-racial, multi-religious school and should be catering for the needs of everyone, not just the Muslim section.`

Her 15-year-old daughter, who asked not to be named, had been thinking of boycotting the meal if no choice was offered. `I have no objections to including Muslims in celebrating Christmas but it is quite wrong to offer us only halal meat. A lot of my friends feel the same and say there should be a choice and they were thinking of boycotting the Christmas meal. I also think a lot of people will be horrified to know that halal meat is often served at school without a choice. I will not be staying for any more school dinners. I think the people who make these decisions are adding to the conflict.`

I think they are really splitting hairs.

Although the Independant reports tomorrow …

the Museum of London has discovered a hoard of what is almost certainly royal treasure, buried in a mysterious, empty human grave laid out in the traditional Christian manner. The finds are among the most remarkable discoveries ever made in London and are likely to shed new light on the very early stages of the introduction of Christian ideas into the Anglo-Saxon world 1,400 years ago.

Christmas in Britain will have, with little doubt, replaced pre-Christian celebrations held during the Winter Solstice such as Yule.

In, England at the very least, I have never particularly observed turkey to be the traditional Christmas fare, though I cannot see why it wouldn’t be consumed, any other fowl is considered just as traditional. Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall has a lot to say on the subject, but once you’ve seen how he prepares his medieval style multibird roast you’ll understand why.

Alternativly, suppose for a second the school were to switch to halal turkey. Once again the local halal butcher looks pleased. Halal as a practice has been used to ensure good health and hygiene. In the case in question, and as far as I understand it, a sharp knife is used to sever all the vessels in the animal’s neck, while simutaniously mentioning the name of Allah , it is then hung to allow the blood to drain completly. This method is used because Muslims are forbidden from eating or drinking blood, or eating of anything slaughtered in the name of anyone but Allah, as mentioned in the Qu’ran. It is forbidden for Muslims to eat pig, I have not found anything about turkeys.

Now apparently the Bible mentions, eleven seperate times apparently, that the eating or drinking or blood is specifically forbidden. Pig is forbidden to Christians in the Bible, as are donkeys, horses, zebras and camels, however antelope, bison, buffalo, elk, gazelle, giraffe, moose and reindeer are fine. Turkey also appears to be fine.

Now as both Christianity and Islam are Abrahamic Religions, they appear to share the same god, and differ on their prophets ( ? )

Interestingly, according to the Guardian …

European animal welfare regulations stipulate that all farm animals must be stunned prior to slaughter, unless they are to be killed by religious methods, such as halal for Muslims and shechita for Jews.

The government funded Farm Animals Welfare Council has been researching slaughter methods and animal welfare. In its report it is expected to conclude that the Muslim and Jewish methods of slaughter are inhumane.

I’m not sure what the current state of school dinners in the UK is, the animals may be free range and organic, though I wouldn’t be surprised if they were factory farmed.

A Rotherham Council spokesman said: `Out of 16 comprehensive schools in the borough only two use private school suppliers. The rest use in-house council caterers. Of those 14 all offer a choice between halal meat and conventionally slaughtered meat`. Local councillor Mahroof Hussain said: `Christmas is an important time in everybody’s life in Britain and we should celebrate it. If we are talking about food maybe we should have choice but that is a decision for the school governing body.`

Denis MacShane, the Labour MP for Rotherham Central, said: `No child should be obliged to eat food that is contrary to their personal convictions or religion. Schools should offer a choice and not allow the joyous celebrations of a Christmas dinner to become a divisive issue. I hope all the children can join in this fun and if I am invited I would be delighted to sit down with all the children for a Christmas dinner, halal, non halal or the healthy option, vegetarian.`

… or vegan or whatever …

Jan Charters, the head at Oakwood, put halal chicken on the Christmas menu to allow Muslim children to enjoy a meal with other pupils. `Having listened to the concerns of some of our parents, we have agreed to provide turkey as an alternative along with the halal chicken and a vegetarian option so that we can hopefully cater for everyone. Our aim, as it always was with this event, is to make sure that everyone, regardless of their faith and background, can come together at this time of year and enjoy a traditional celebratory meal in our community.`

Campaigners and religious organisations said the ban on traditional Christmas celebrations was making Britain a more divided society.

John Midgley, of the Campaign Against Political Correctness, said: `It seems as though the parents have made the school see sense. Until common sense prevailed the school was creating a problem when there was no problem.`

Nick Seaton, chairman of the Campaign for Real Education, said: `Headteachers and school governors should not make this sort of mistake in the first place. There are a lot of these silly people around who undermine British culture. This is a victory for common sense. It is good these mad politically correct people have been made to think again.`

Abdul Dean, ethnic minorities officer for the Christian People’s Alliance, said: `There is a political agenda here. Who are these people speaking on behalf of Muslims? Muslim parents themselves would not have objected to children being offered a choice. The teachers should have taken this on board especially in this time of tension.`

UPDATE : So, have you spotted the glaring omission from this story ? thats right, even though this story appears to be centered around Muslim beliefs, not one Muslim is mentioned or quoted, though everyone else and their mother outside the school has an opinion. Hmmmmm ….

UPDATE : Check the comments

UPDATE : Trailer for Our Daily Bread, a documentary about the world of industrial food production and high-tech farming.

The Auld Sod Export Company specialises in shipping dirt from Ireland to the US.

I’m not sure about the-luck-of-the-Irish, but marketing dirt to gullible Americans is true marketing genius.

It was 4am and Adrian J. Apgar, 45 of Polk City, was naked and high on crack.

Sounds like the start of a beautiful day, then … something happened that would change his life forever.

From the Orlando Sentinel …

Judd said Apgar told deputies he was smoking crack-cocaine at the adjacent park, but it was unclear why he was naked or why he was attacked by the alligator.

Apgar, suffered a broken arm, partially amputated left arm and trauma to his left leg. Doctors are trying to reattach the arm at Lakeland Regional Medical Center, where was listed in critical condition.

State fish and wildlife officials captured an 11-foot alligator that they think was the biter.

Rumour has it that Amazon and Apple are attempting to seduce the fairest, smartest and most modest people on the planet, Marmite eaters, into signing up for a .mac account.

The swines. It won’t work.

Thanks to Brad for forwarding me this.

Aunty says …

When his mother went to look for him, she found the pigs chewing something and spotted bits of her son’s clothing.

UPDATE : A daily bacon sandwich may significantly increase the risk of bladder cancer, Harvard study suggests.

I can’t believe I’m posting this shit, just because everyone else is doing it.

Some guy wants to track the speed of a meme via Technocrati, wether or not this counts as true science, or a lot of old shite, I don’t know, because I don’t really care, but what the hell … can’t hurt … or can it ?

Heres the link if you want to participate …

http://acephalous.typepad.com/acephalous/2006/11/measuring_the_s.html

Just add it to your site and ping Technocrati.

I feel dirty now, and not in that good way …

UPDATE : So lets see how the experiment went shall we ?

that sentence blossomed into a meme I’m almost unqualified to track

if I only knew what to make of it …

“The main problem was my prior attachment to Louisville, which naturally led to meetings with old friends, relatives, etc., many of whom were in the process of falling apart, going mad, plotting divorces, cracking up under the strain of terrible debts or recovering from bad accidents. Right in the middle of the whole frenzied Derby action, a member of my own family had to be institutionalized. This added a certain amount of strain to the situation, and since poor Steadman had no choice but to take whatever came his way, he was subjected to shock after shock.

`Right,` he said. `We’ll go native.`”

Another classic from the archives, thanks to Mark for sending it to me initially …

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington engineering mid term. The answer was so `profound` that the Professor shared it with colleagues, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or Endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote Proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

`First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year, `…that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you.` and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.`

This student received the only A.

Acid blotter art found on eBay, many of which are up for sale by AcidArtz.

Please respect the art and the artists by keeping the sheets as they are - undipped and 100% drug free - a piece of art, to be framed and hung on a wall or otherwise presented as art.

This is `vanity blotter` and is a piece of history and a work of art. It has never been in contact with LSD nor shall it ever come in contact with LSD. By buying this print you agree unconditionally to respect it as art and to never use it as a vehicle for any illicit substance. Due to the nature of the product we cannot accept refunds or returns.

I wonder if they come with a certificate of authenticity … ?

Condition: Mint and uncirculated printed on high quality paper with precision, mechanical perforations.

Some pieces have been signed by the artist responsible, others by some psychedelic notable.

There are some great photos of the Alices.